Fatz and bloatz.
It was my third time eating here when I gave in, threw my hands up, and my chicken in the bin. I realised — I’m the problem, here. Friez & Burgz, you just ain’t made for me.
I’m sure you’ve seen this place already. People love it. They go batshit. But I can’t get on board. Of course it looks good on social media. As the name suggests, it’s a very simple offering and a wonderfully short menu. I believe it started off in South Shields, and there’s now to be five F&B across the North East. So, can’t be that bad. Right?
There’s been a raft of truly great burgers in town recently, so I thought I’d give it a go. You can’t suck, when there’s the likes of Patty Melts as a competitor, can ya?
So I’ve tried a couple of times over the past year — mostly hungover — and come away feeling dirtier than when I entered. I was passing the area at lunchtime, and tried yet again last week. I’m not just being a mardy bum — the Friez & Burgz (groan) are genuinely just not good.
I think anyone who argues different might say: but these burgers are cheap. You pay about half the cost you would at Patty Melts, Burt’s, and even Five Guys. Are they twice as good? Burgers have become more expensive, prohibitively expensive even. And people are willing to pay it, for a great burger experience. You’ve seen The Menu, right? What a scene. What a film.
That said, I don’t think this is a restaurant trying and failing to be good. It’s offering a afferent value proposition altogether (despite the website claiming ‘top quality smash burgers’ – there is no ‘about us’ page, no signposting towards suppliers, or pride in any of that malarkey 🙄). This is a cheap takeaway restaurant. I wouldn’t call it cheerful because the staff (Shields Rd, I’m looking at you) are miserable as sin, and the blaring 2010s EDM works hard to expedite your exit. But it’s probably for people in search of a lot of calories for not a lot of cash.
I get that — cost of living crisis, etc. People gotta eat. And spending £60 at Burts for a couple of slabs of mince in a bun is probably Not The One for most people. But there’s gotta be some joy somewhere. I can’t find it.
Just none of it screams quality. I know that’s the point. The burgers are £8.50 with fries included, so it’s cheaper than you’ll get almost anywhere. I just checked and even a BK Whopper is £6.39 now. But the burgers themselves, sigh. They ooze fat and liquid, and not in a pleasantly beefy way, just one that makes you gip a bit. The toppings — forgettable. The bread, meh. I’ve made better burgers at home. I can’t recall anything interesting about the fries.
Worst of all, there’s nothing tender about these chickens. Overly breaded. Succulent enough once you get inside, but I’ve picked most of the coating off each time. Dense coating doesn’t give me good vibe(z), but the honey & chilli special with Rice Krispies (bottom), christ. This was only the second food of 2025 that I could not eat. I hate wasting food. But honey, Rice Krispies, and chicken. I don’t know who was on product development that day, but nope.
Some people won’t care, I guess. It’s a fiver’s worth of chicken. Maybe every chicken doesn’t need to be an experience. I’d argue otherwise.
If you’re vaguely interested in food — and, well, you got this far — give Friez n Burgz a swerve. The latest is one opening imminently in Newcastle city centre by Haymarket which might be OK if you’re pissed after the match, or compared to a dirty kebab you might find some value. But otherwise, in a world where we’ve got Patty Melts and Burt’s now offering seriously elevated burgers that are worth every penny, I’m just not gonna bother again. You might find joy here. But me, I’ve got my doubt(z).
Contact: frieznburgz.co.uk
Locations: Newcastle, Byker, South Shields, Forest Hall, Whitley Bay
Cost: Burgers and fries £8.50, chicken £3.50–£5.50
