🤥
Another day, another craving for a cheap and cheerful Italian restaurant brings us to Pinocchio (61 Westgate Rd, NE1 1SG) for a day-off lunch special.
A lot of what I said recently about Portofino applies equally here. There’s just something about little Italian gaffs like this. OTT painted interiors, slightly detached service, entirely predictable menus, even the very same bottle of Montepulciano D’Abruzzo we had at Portofino (a few quid more £££ here, mind you).
Alas, I know fine well this was gonna be ‘just another Italian’, but it was really this that caught my attention
Like, show me somewhere else that’s doing bronze die pasta in-house? They don’t shout about it on the menu for whatever reason, and they bloody well should.
Anyway, the lunch menu is £11 for pizza/pasta and a cheap starter (obligatory potato skins, bruschetta, garlic bread, soup). Potato skins were at least nicely fried without an excess of grease. It’s just such a profit-driving non-dish, but a guilty pleasure, for sure. Would it hurt to present it in a more interesting way?
Kate got bolognese, naturally. Good amount, and I’d pick it over say Portofinos and maybe even Unos. It’s got more of a home-made feel. Quite a dry ragu, but I’m here for it. A thick, meaty concoction — not — a tomato sauce, as it should be, but verging into too-purist for a cheap Italians (in a good way!).
The lunch menu interestingly also features a chicken Milanese. ‘Have your starter and main course at the same time’, apparently. Garlic bread on the side, cos I couldn’t be having that kind of mockery. Some of the pies coming out of the oven here look great. This one for example, feels like catfishing. Some though, are just exactly what you’d expect 👇🏼
That’s not to say unenjoyable, it does what it says on its inoffensive tin. Lot of garlic, lot of rubbery non-cheese.
Milanese was actually great. A simple pomodoro sauce, tablespoons of pre-grated parmesan cheese, spaghetti and chicken bashed thinner than my patience for plastic flowers hanging from the ceiling of restaurants. Nicely breaded, and dinner-plate sized. It’s like the slowest ever evolution of the cheap & cheerful Italian set menu, but a step forward all the same.
Tiramisu was fine. When asked for a Newcastle fave (outside of fine dining, dahling) I’d go for Zucchini’s tiramisu. It’s cheap, it’s fresh, it gets the texture right. Like many others, this was ‘barely there’ which I know some prefer, but I’d rather have a bit of bite and texture. Still, totally passable and only a fiver. Over-zealous plate decoration on full display, of course.
If you head down for lunch you can get this for just over a tenner which in today’s money is next to nowt. We ended up spending £60 which was really 2x 3 courses and a bottle of wine and a tip and I guess yes, you could eat better for the money. Though that’s becoming increasingly difficult in 2023…
As with Portofino recently, I’d take some persuading to pay à la carte prices because competition is just so fierce. But if you’re in the centre of town at lunch time and forgot about Pinocchio, you’ll know exactly what to expect and you’ll likely have a sufficiently pleasant couple of unchallenging hours. It’s not trailblazing, but sometimes that’s all that you need.
Contact: pinocchionewcastle.com
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